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Normally, the ‘wai’, is used as a gesture of great respect and it is considered quite rude, to not acknowledge it, even if it is with only a smile or nod of the head. There is quite a hierarchy to the ‘wai’, and in some ways, it is similar to the Japanese bow but maybe not quite so complicated. Thai’s will often show respect by bowing & ‘wai’-ing the first and lowest. Age, wealth and education are all taken into consideration. When a Thai, inquires about these things, they are only trying to assess the proper ‘wai’ to give you the respect you deserve. A 'wai' is made by putting the palms of the hands together as you would during prayer, at about the same height as the heart with finger upright and not interlocking. Then keeping the hands locked, the appropriate bow and often a smile is made. The 'wai' can be used as both a greeting and to say thank you. Being the “Land of Smiles” never underestimate the value of a smile. Smiling is perhaps the quickest way to become accepted into Thai society. Thais try to at all times balance their emotions and maintain what is called “the middle ground” Even as small children they are taught not to show anger or emotions, especially when angry. Because this is so ingrained in their culture, they consider someone losing their temper to be very unenlightened and immature. An angry outburst, in Thailand will never get you anywhere, as they relate it to a spoilt child throwing a tantrum. Would you really reward that behavior and let them have their way, the Thais think not! Rewarding emotional outbursts would not help you reach “middle ground.” Observing long time Ex-pats who have quite successfully been accepted into the culture, it would appear that using a gentle but serious voice ending with a smile may certainly be an effective strategy to voicing one’s displeasure. Perhaps another method would be to appeal to the Thais to help you overcome a problem. Never blame them, even if it is obvious to you, they caused the problem, but instead ask for their help to resolve it. Remember according to Buddhist religion Thais will be quite eager to earn “merit” However if you use this to take advantage, it will certainly mean negative “merits” for you. The Thais have a few rules of etiquette, which the westerners may find strange and difficult to comply with at first. Besides the attempts for westerners to maintain their cool, expats must also be attentive to the fact that to be polite one should reframe from pointing their toes at anyone or anything. This is taken more seriously in the southern provinces where there is a larger Muslim population. Regardless, if you want to be considered polite, it would definitely could be a habit worth trying to break in. The easiest way to prevent unintentional toe pointing may be by not crossing the legs. This may be a difficult habit to break especially for western women who have been raised with the belief that to be lady-like, a woman should always cross the legs. Thai’s think much differently. They consider the top of the head as the highest point of the body and spiritual in some ways and the feet the lowest. Thereby they are offended to some degree by feet. So, this includes no feet on the coffee table as well. Getting comfortable in this fashion, may seem quite routine to the Westerners but in Thai culture it is a big no-no. Unless one is very close in the Thai circle, Thais find it very uncomfortable to be touched, even with a handshake. Most prefer to use the Wai instead. Although in business, the handshake is becoming quite acceptable it is best to let the Thais make the first move. Never under any circumstances should you pat or touch a Thai on the head. In their belief system, the soul is located there and as such, it is very disrespectful to touch the top of their head as it is sacred. Even though Thais are very tolerant of displays of affection shown in public by foreigners, culturally such displays are frowned upon. Some Thais who have had a lot of western exposure may hold hands, but this is normally as much as is socially acceptable in public at least. Thais are normally quite conservative in their dress. You won’t often see bare shoulders, tummies or legs. Although in tourists and beach areas the Thais are quite easy going about this, westerner’s should make an attempt to dress properly when visiting Thai homes or temples. Normally, Thai people are very tolerant. There are two areas though where this tolerance ends. In Thailand, the Monarchy and their religion are greatly respected and revered. Any violation of this, even by a foreigner can result in prison sentences or further types of retribution. Violations entail defacing, tearing or even crumpling a bill as it contains the King’s face, and certainly any disrespectful comments about the royal family. In addition to this, temples and religious artifacts must be respected. Shoes are to be removed when entering a temple and it is important that proper clothing be worn. Proper clothing being - that which covers most of the body including the shoulders and legs. So no, shorts and bikini tops.
Religious artifacts in Thailand are considered sacred. It may well result in a jail sentence to damage or deface them. Never climb on any artifacts when trying to get that perfect picture. This just is never done or permitted. Monks command great respect to the point where it is typical for someone to offer their seat on a bus as a show of respect for them. Monks are not allowed to touch women, and if they do it will result in the Monks having to do special fasting and cleansing rituals, which sometimes may last for days. Therefore, if a woman wants to hand anything to a Monk; it must be passed through a man’s hands first to avoid this ritual. It would be difficult to understand the Thai people, without first knowing a little about their religion. This is because 90% of the Thai population is Buddhist, a fact that is sure to influence their behavior and attitudes. It is common for all males once they reach the age of 18 to spend time as novices in a temple, although generally only a few weeks. Within the temple, they will be trained in Buddhist history and philosophy, the paths to enlightenment and the principles of mediation. This also explains the reason why disrespect for religious artifacts or monks is such a serious offence and why there are so many altars throughout Thailand held in a place of honor in the family yard or home.
Although Buddhism has much more depth to it than can be explained than a few pages, it is important to know that Buddhism teaches tolerance and patience. This explains the Thai’s remarkable acceptance of other cultures and ideas without making judgments. Buddhism doesn’t claim that other religions are false, and encourages everyone to make their own judgments. Buddhism is more of a personal philosophy than a group religion. An individual following the middle path, the long road to enlightenment encounters and overcomes the obstacles at his own pace. As Thais are always striving to maintain the middle path, they are often surprised and embarrassed by some cultures who stray too far from this belief and lose their temper or act too much out of the moderate social norms of the Thai people. Still regardless, of people’s actions, how good a Buddhist he is, or how far along the path he has traveled this is not important to anyone other than himself. According to the Buddhist faith, there are two extremes to be avoided - the extreme of indulgence in sensuality and worldly pleasures, and the extremes of austerity, mortification and self- torture. Austerities produce confusion and sickly thoughts, while sensuality makes man a slave to his passions. One should follow the Middle Path, which keeps aloof from both extremes. One should satisfy the necessities of life, and keep one’s body in good health and one’s mind strong in order to comprehend the Four Noble Truths. Buddhist’s also believe that existence is suffering, suffering is caused by desire, so the elimination of desire leads to a state of perfect non-suffering and an existence call nibbana or nirvana. They believe that suppression and the eventual extinction of the ego are the only way to be content. Most Thais believe in reincarnation, which eventually leads to the achievement of nibbana. To this end they “make merit” by doing good deeds. Ways to make merit include giving money to beggars, and giving food to monks who do their early morning “alm rounds.” Thais will often purchase caged bird to release, although this seem a little odd to a westerner as it promotes the bird’s being captured for sale in the first place. Regardless, it is only normal for them to think that likewise you will also want to do good deeds to make merit. Therefore, to some extent, foreigners who take the opportunity to make merit will acquire the respect of the Thai people. Statues of Buddha can be very different. The Chinese favor the pot bellied Buddha. One at Doi Tung has a large deep navel in which visitors are invited to toss coins. This Buddha is associated with happiness, wealth, food and plenty. At the food market at Chiang Rai, an emaciated statue refers to Buddha’s experiment as an ascetic – when he decided that total self denial was unnecessary and developed the idea of the middle path. Usually the Buddha is seated cross legged, indicating meditation. If the right hand is raised, palm outwards, this indicated that the Buddha is imploring peace. With left hand raised, palm up, he is teaching. If two fingers are held up, he is blessing. If both hands are down, then Buddha has achieved enlightenment. The reclining Buddha in which he is seen resting on a cushion with one arm holding his head, refers to the death of Buddha – the point at which he achieved nirvana. The walking Buddha refers to walking meditation – regarded as very difficult by most monks. Standing with both hands raised palms outwards is a sign of power and refers to legend in which Buddha stopped the sea from engulfing a village by adopting this pose.
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